Lately, I have been feeling pretty dull. When I’m in conversation with someone, I have little to talk about besides 1) my son or 2) my work. Not to diminish the value of those two things, but I wish there was a little bit more that made me interesting.
I think this time of year amplifies one’s busy-ness (or, to be more specific, lack thereof). The holiday excitement and activities are over, the weather isn’t great, and we’re just waiting for the arrival of the active summer season for camping & outdoor activities. Being relegated to the indoors makes it easy to become an evening couch potato & waste too much time on the internet or TV. It’s pretty easy to become dull & boring right here in the middle of February.
Don’t get me wrong, I certainly get a lot of joy out of what I do for my work & family! I LOVE menu planning, grocery shopping, and cooking. My newest obsession is bread-baking. I am proud of serving my family and I enjoy sweet time with my husband & son. However, I think I’ve lost perspective on what *I* like to do. Things not for anyone else’s benefit or enjoyment – just mine. I need to figure out what brings me joy, fulfillment, and how to express who I am as a uniquely created individual.
When I first started realizing the importance of taking time exclusively for myself after having my son, I certainly enjoyed it. I checked out books from the library and sat outside in my sunny backyard with a glass of wine and enjoyed the peace. I went and got my nails done, or my hair done, or just went shopping by myself. Now, I think I need to take the next step and figure out who I am, outside of a wife, mother, and employee. I don’t just need to find things to do by myself, I need to find out what I enjoy doing for myself, and to use what creative gifts I have been given.
Problem: I have no idea where to start.
I am very thankful that I have a husband who is supportive of me in this, and who encourages me to take time by myself. He offers to take full charge of Conlan for an afternoon so I can go out and “do” something.
“What shall I ‘do’?” I think to myself. I don’t know. If I’m going to spend time away, I want it to be meaningful & healthy for me. I want it to be fulfilling, and to build me up to be a better woman when I come back home.
I think that’s a pretty tall order for a hobby. If I figure something out, I’ll let you know.
In the meantime, I have compiled a list of things that I could do to fill in my free time (maybe I even enjoy them!), but I will not consider a hobby:
- Exercise: necessary – yes; enjoyable – no
- Cooking: love it, although my average nightly repertoire pretty much ranges from tacos to soup to casseroles; not much time in my weekday evenings to get very fancy
- Crochet: know how, but I’m just average; besides that, one can only use so many afghans before one’s house looks like an old lady’s
- Scrapbooking: pretty much accepted that I’m not good at it and, frankly, don’t even enjoy it that much
- Reading: enjoy it, but reading is a pretty passive activity so I don’t consider it to meet my hobby criteria
If anyone has any suggestions, I’m open! 🙂