There were lots of factors involved and it wasn’t an easy decision. In fact, it was downright difficult.
So I did what anyone would do. I spent my lunch break reading through all of the inspirational quotes on my water glass trying to find the answer and figure out what I should do. There’s good stuff on there.
In all seriousness, it was not easy. I thought it would be – after all, I would be trading in a 75-minute commute for a 25-minute one. I would be absolutely crazy to turn that down!
But for some reason, it was tough. I like my job well enough but I’m not necessarily in love with it. Why was this so hard?
After talking it through with my husband, I realized it was pride. I feel like I’ve built a reputation here. I have the respect of state-level administrators and I get calls seeking guidance from other people all across the state. Leaving would mean giving that up. Not feeling as important. Not getting the same level of recognition.
That was an uncomfortable moment of self-awareness. Can you say “shallow”?
Last week I had the privilege of writing a guest blog post where I talked about my calling. I alluded to using my calling as a guide for decision-making and wanted to expand on that a little.
As a working mom I take so many things into consideration when weighing my options.
- Time Commitment
- Family Commitments & Needs
- Wanting to please others
- Wanting to please myself by “feeling like” a “good mom”
Of course, none of those things are unique to working mothers. Everyone’s list may look a little different but…well, you get the point.
Though some of those things may ultimately come into play, it is important to ask the bigger questions. Is this in line with my calling? Is this serving God the way He wants me to? Is this best for my family?
For me, the answer was clear after looking through that lens. It is time for me to move on into a new adventure. I have absolute confidence that it is time for a transition, and I am so excited!
My current supervisor said something so kind when I shared my struggle with her. “Kristina, the good thing is that you are not running from this job.” As I thought about it, it was true. I wasn’t running blindly from a 2 ½ hour daily commute. I wasn’t desperately trying to escape a job I didn’t like into something – anything – else. I was running to something that I knew I was called to – the ability to serve my family better. Trying to keep my mission and my calling at the forefront of my decision-making gave me the legs I needed to stand on to make the decision.
Knowing that much gave me peace.
Besides, the messages on my water glass all seemed to agree. So it must be the right decision. 🙂