Though it seems like last week, it has been nearly four months since I wrote about my sadness of Brynna’s baby-ness slipping away. And now, as we’re just three short months away from her first birthday, I am thankful for the little reminders I get that though these sweet moments end, equally sweet moments await us.
It was the day after that bittersweet evening, savoring the babe in my arms, that Conlan had his preschool Spring concert. And as I watched him sing his little heart out I had the overwhelming sense that this was quite literally the proudest moment of my life so far. Prouder than graduating college, finishing grad school, climbing Mt. Fuji, moving across the country, experiencing natural childbirth, achieving debt freedom, or any other moment I could possibly think of. Watching him develop his personality, confidence, and independence culminated in a level of joy and pride I never even expected.
And it reminded me that, had his baby days not gradually faded into a memory, these beautiful new experiences for him (and me) would not exist. It seems like every day Conlan says or does something that makes us laugh or marvel at how his little brain is growing. It keeps getting better.
Brynna is going through a mama phase (and by “phase” I mean “the entirety of her existence”) and every time she craves her mama and I rock her I run my hand over her back and realize she’s just a little bit bigger than the last time we did this. But these days, those moments are paired with the continual development of her little personality, and I’m starting to remember that it does keep getting better. Holding her on the couch, she grabbed a piece of paper, held it over my face, and began giggling uncontrollably. I realized she was trying to play peek-a-boo with me. Later I was laying on floor and she tried to push me away and pull me back close. Which, apparently, was hilarious to her. Watching her learn how to play and interact, and hearing that contagious baby-laugh helps me remember. If she stayed in that itty bitty baby phase, we would be missing out on a whole lot of happiness. It keeps getting better.