Last week wasn’t the easiest week to be at work. The baby had just started crawling and I could have spent all day watching her proudly follow me from room to room, chattering happily. On the flip side, she’d also been teething which, quite honestly, isn’t the toughest stage to miss but also means that my much-cherished evening time with her consisted mainly of a baby who would see me walk in the door and think “Oh crap, I forgot I missed you, let me fuss and cry and cling to you excessively and get hysterical when I think there may be a chance that our direct skin-to-skin contact may be broken and I possibly lose you forever.” So I hid from her when I got home, until I finished cooking dinner.
And then there’s her brother, whose normal calm, pleasant demeanor had been amped up in both volume and rambunctiousness and I felt like all I did was reprimand him for jumping on the couch, being impatient, being too loud, and playing too rough with his little sister. Meanwhile he had also apparently mistaken my kitchen for a restaurant as evidenced by the lengthy nightly discussion of No, you cannot have a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner and Yes, you will eat what the rest of us are eating and Look, your sister is beating you at finishing her spaghetti squash and See? I told you that you liked meatballs and No, there is no dessert.
But I know that was just one week.
I have also had weeks when my house ran well, stayed tidy, and we were all rested and happy. Dare I say, life was even easy.
I won’t ever say that the life of a working mom is easy. Any mom – working or not – who tells you that life is “easy” is a liar. I won’t tell you that it’s hard, either. Some days, some weeks, even some months might be harder than others, but “hard” does not define my life overall.
Instead, I define it this way.
It is good.
And even on days when it doesn’t feel good, there are always things in my control to make it feel better. I know that feelings lie, and that even if life doesn’t feel good for a moment or two, it still is.
My life is not easy. My life is not hard. My life is good.