I’m Either Terribly Indecisive or Just Learning Hard Lessons

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There’s a story being written right now, but I guess it’s still in draft form because the ending keeps changing.

A couple of months ago we started playing with the idea of putting our house on the market.  Without boring you with the details, it seemed like a great idea.  Not one to jump into things lightly, I drafted budgets, thought through timelines, and researched housing prices.  Even after all that, it still seemed like a great idea.

Moving forward.

We contacted a few real estate agents and interviewed them.  We painted our house.  We started packing up the clutter.

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Then I started having some second thoughts about the whole thing, so we regrouped.  More budgets, timelines, and research.

Moving forward, but in a different direction.

Stagers came and we rearranged the furniture.  I bought throw pillows.  The house looked fantastic.  Why didn’t we ever think to put the couch there and bring some color into the living room?

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And then, the final blow.  Our agent asked me to write a letter to display in the entry.  A letter that draws the buyer in and convinces them that our home is one worth buying.

Write it, I did.  I did a fantastic job.

So fantastic, in fact, that I decided I couldn’t bear to part with my home.  That’s right.  MY LETTER WAS SO GREAT THAT I CONVINCED MYSELF TO BUY MY OWN HOUSE.

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Not moving.

There are so many more pieces to this story that aren’t ready to be shared yet, because the ending isn’t finished.  I’m learning lessons in community, in friendships, in faith, in trust, in marriage, and in the fact that my head is so darn hard sometimes that these lessons can’t be learned subtly, apparently.  That sometimes to learn the big lessons, my world must be rocked.  And for the moment, apparently my world got rocked but everything landed neatly right back where it started.

I still don’t know how the story ends, and I’m also starting to learn that as much as I plan and scheme and dream, I’ll never know the end.  It might keep changing right up until the story is finished.  I’m not the one writing it, after all.  Maybe that letter will be put to good use sometime soon, or maybe it won’t.

For now there are still a few moving parts, but I know that this story is not just about selling a house.  It’s about the lessons learned in the process, and I need to be looking for them instead of just keeping my head down and getting things done.  Growth doesn’t happen in the doing of things.  It happens in the space around it – the space that looks empty and meaningless but is really full of truth, of challenge, and of opportunity.

I’ve also learned that it’s okay to change my mind sometimes, even if that means looking foolish.  The lessons are bigger than my pride.

I’m excited to see how the story continues, but this chapter has been a wild ride of uncertainty.  Once there’s more clarity I’ll be certain to tell you more about it.  But for now, I have to learn to live with the uncertainty.  {This is not easy.  Another lesson.}

Meanwhile, if you’re in the business of trying to sell your house and your real estate agent wants you to write a letter to the potential buyers, I’d be happy to do it for you.  Apparently I’m that good.  But just to warn you, I might convince you to keep it.

Do you have a story about changing your mind?  Were you able to make a u-turn or did you keep on moving ahead because you felt like you had already committed to something?  How did it turn out?

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3 thoughts on “I’m Either Terribly Indecisive or Just Learning Hard Lessons

  1. Oh, it’s funny you say this because we have a real estate agent coming to our house this Saturday because we too are thinking about making a move. Simply because I’m tired of my long commute. I’m not sure how our story will end, but I’m terrified not knowing if we are making the right decision. Our house is beautiful, we started our family in this house…I definitely shouldn’t be the one to write our letter if asked…I’m too emotionally attached! Whatever happens I just have to trust hat there is a plan 😉

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