It’s Not a War, It’s a Sisterhood



Like I’ve said before, I left the mommy wars.  I don’t think they really exist anywhere except on the internet and with a few crazies running around in real life anyway.

With that preface out of the way, yesterday this article from Babble started popping up all over my Facebook feed about how having a stay-at-home mom is a luxury for the working spouse.

I read it, and I thought it was great.

And even though I get over-sensitive sometimes and have to check myself, this particular article brought up absolutely zero defensive emotions about my own role as a working mother.  In fact, in my obviously qualified non-stay-at-home-mom opinion, I thought it was spot on.

Then I browsed the comments, running across a bunch of “Agreed!,” “Perfect!,” and a few “I’m sick of hearing that SAHM’s are better than working moms.”

{And then I thought, did we even read the same article?  But I digress.  There will *always* be those.  It is the internet, after all.}

But there, in the midst of them, was the comment that won the day.  It was a reminder that stay-at-home moms are not only a luxury and a blessing to their families, but to all of us working moms as well.

It’s a fact I was reminded of when my phone rang after a friend read yesterday’s post about scrambling to find early-dismissal childcare.  “I read your blog.  Did you get it covered?  I can do it!

Then there was the time over the summer when a friend texted me about Vacation Bible School at our church.  “Does Conlan want to go?  Sign him up!  I’ll bring him home when it’s over and he can spend the afternoon with us!”

And it’s something I was acutely aware of when there was a weekday afternoon birthday party a few months back that we wouldn’t be able to make it to.  “I’ll pick Conlan up from preschool and take him to the party so he can go, too!”  She even put together a costume for him.


Mamas, these are just the times that my dear friends jumped in to help before I even asked them.  There are millions of other times when I actually asked for help and they saved my skin.

Ladies, it’s not a war, it’s a sisterhood.  It truly is a luxury that I have a sisterhood of women who stay home with their babies, and the support they give me is part of the reason that I feel I can do working motherhood well.  They allow my son to stay connected and involved and cared for and loved in the moments that I’d otherwise feel like I was failing him.

This sisterhood is a lifeline, and it’s to be celebrated.

So stay-at-home moms, thank you.  Thank you for supporting your husbands and sacrificing for your families.  Thank you for volunteering in the classrooms and organizing things at church and signing up to bring dinners to others in the weeks that I can’t bear to cram another thing into my schedule.  Thank you for the service you give to the community.

Thank you for staying home and taking care of your kids.

And thank you for loving mine so that I can be a better working mother.



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7 thoughts on “It’s Not a War, It’s a Sisterhood

  1. I am totally with you on this. I have some fabulous SAHMs and they have often jumped in to help out with situations similar to the ones you mentioned. I also appreciate the insights they share from being at school more, and just keeping an eye on my kids.

  2. I just found your blog and I love this! I agree, so often it seems that there is this war between SAHM’s and working moms and it makes my heart break. Don’t we all do what we feel is best for our family? Can’t we be okay with our differences and simply support each other? So thank you for this post. I thoroughly enjoyed your thoughts! I will be following 🙂

  3. This is fabulous, I thought the same thing when I read that article! I love having SAHM friends that know all the ins and outs of the kid stuff so I don’t feel like an idiot. I had a SAHM friend give me the heads up at my own kid’s birthday party the other day so I wouldn’t miss the part when the instructors gathered all the kids for a group photo. Was so happy to have a friend in the know! With a background in economics, I am also thankful that there are moms that stay home because I would be in real trouble if the demand for childcare was any higher–ha!

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